Sunday, 1 May 2011

Selfish Goes Momentarily Crazy

Between Bossy & Selfish they have 5 children: Smirk, Demure, Baby Boy, Solid and Loud.  At any given time the situation can be thus:

(1) Smirk has Multiple Sclerosis and for the last several weeks has chosen not to communicate. Selfish wonders:  Is Smirk ill(er) or is he just being uncommunicative?

(2) Loud has ceased communication totally because Bossy is "bad for her mental health".

(3) Pinky, Baby Boy's wife, has a basal cell carcinoma in her eye and Bossy & Selfish are trying to find out what that means. 

(4 & 5) As far as they know, Demure & Solid are on the same footing as per usual.  What that footing is cannot be easily described.  What is sure, is that they usually reply if they sense any level of panic from either Bossy or Selfish. 

It should be noted that Bossy & Selfish, living in Ecuador, are thought of as 'doing well' by the Ecuadorians in that they have 5 children.  Ecuadorians feel somewhat sorry for them because their children are a continent and a half away but that doesn't impair the bonus points they get in the overall kids still alive system.  In Canada the bonus system works under a somewhat different set of values. 

Selfish, worried about Smirk's MS and his lack of detail about his day-to-day life, wrote an e-mail to Demure asking her to report on Smirk's status.  Demure replied (in a reasonable time frame) that Smirk had told her that he'd just been in touch with Selfish. 

Selfish went momentarily crazy as he was now very confused.

Bossy reassured Selfish that Smirk was just being his usual self and that since Demure had provided a phone number, perhaps he should give Selfish a call.  Smirk moves on a regular basis and never provides phone numbers; being able to just pick up the phone and call was a real bonus.

Bossy was unusually tranquil.  This was because she hadn't heard from Loud now for several weeks.  The quiet, for her, was not a thing to worry about but simply a calm between storms.

Confused? 

Get used to it!  Bossy & Selfish had to. 

In the end, Selfish phoned Smirk and was told that everything was OK. 

Smirk has MS, Loud won't talk to Bossy, Demure is quiet, Baby Boy & Pinky live in young family chaos and Solid & her husband Brando are extraordinarily busy but...

All is well....

What more can you ask for?