Thursday, 30 January 2014

My Reality Cheque Just Bounced

My Reality Cheque Just Bounced #bumperstickers

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. #factoid

As soon as people decide to confront a problem, they realize that they are far more capable than they thought they were. ~ The Zahir #quote

PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left #palindromes #factoid

You can employ men and hire hands to work for you, but you must win their hearts to have them work with you. ~ Tiorio #quote

Add Fuel To The Fire: Whenever something is done to make a bad situation even worse than it is. #ENGidiom

The chief weapon of sea pirates, however, was their capacity to astonish. Nobody else could believe, until it was too late, how heartless and greedy they were. ~ Kurt Vonnegut #quote

SELF-EVIDENT, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Our toaster works on either AC or DC, but not on bread. It has two settings: too soon or too late. ~ Sam Levenson #quote

In the seventeenth-century a Boston man was sentenced to two hours in the stocks for obscene behaviour, his crime, kissing his wife in a public place on a Sunday. #factoid

Southpaw: Someone who is left-handed. #ENGidiom

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore. #oneliners

One good thing about forgetting is that you can no longer worry about what ever it was you forgot. #oneliners

EAVESDROP, v.i. Secretly to overhear a catalogue of the crimes and vices of another or yourself. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

War is a cowardly escape from the problems of peace. ~ Thomas Mann #quote
I believe we are still so innocent. The species are still so innocent that a person who is apt to be murdered believes that the murderer, just before he puts the final wrench on his throat, will have enough compassion to give him one sweet cup of water. ~ Maya Angelou #quote

Never miss a good chance to shut up. #sarcasticsayings

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. ~ George Bernard Shaw #sarcastic #quote

Sign at a crematorium: Urn more. Pay less. #JustaJoke

Cup Of Joe: A cup of coffee. #ENGidiom

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. ~ Maya Angelou #quote

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. #paraprosdokian #ENGgrammar

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. ~ #OneLiner

Queen Mary having bottom scraped #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. ~ Umberto Eco #quote

Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk. #EssenceofPoliticalScience

REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt. ~ from Two Gentlemen of Verona. #ShakespeareInsults
Long in the Tooth: Old people (or horses) #ENGidiom

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. ~ Antoine de Saint Exupery

I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless. ~ James Broughton #quotes

An average person laughs about 15 times a day. #factoid

She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. ~ From Two Gentlemen of Verona #ShakespeareInsults

Rome Was Not Built In One Day: If you want something to be completely properly, then its going to take time. #ENGidiom

Pure Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. #EssenceofPoliticalScience

Redolent: aromatic, evocative #ExquisiteAdjectives

You have delighted us long enough. ~ Jane Austen #sarcastic #quote

Why are zero scores in tennis called 'love'? ~ In France , where tennis became popular, round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called 'l'oeuf,' which is French for 'egg.' When tennis was introduced in the US Americans mis-pronounced it 'love.' #factoid

More doors are opened with "please" than with keys. #oneliners

RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier. ~ Roy E. Disney #quotes

The correct response to the Irish greeting, "Top of the morning to you," is "and the rest of the day to yourself." #factoid

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

We Are All in the Same Boat

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction ~ Douglas MacArthur #quote

We are not rich by what we possess but by what we can do without. ~ Immanuel Kant #quote

We are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.  ~ Tom Robbins #quote

We are product of our past but we don`t have to be prisoners of it. ~ Rick Warren

We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,  but you can never leave! ~ Eagles #lyrics

We are shaped by each other. We adjust not to the reality of a world, but to the reality of other thinkers. ~ Joseph Chilton Pearce #quote

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. ~ Francois de la Rochefoucauld #quote

We are such stuff
As dreams are made on,
and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
~ William Shakespeare  #quote

We are the music makers
and we are the dreamers
of dreams...
~ Arthur O'Shaughnessy #quote

We are the ones we have been waiting for. ~  Alice Walker #quote

We are the people our parents warned us about. ~ Jimmy Buffett #quote

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different. ~ Kurt Vonnegut #quote

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. ~ Anna Freud #quote

We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever ~ Carl Sagan #quote

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavours & furniture polish is made from real lemons. ~ Alfred Newman

We are merely the stars' tennis-balls, struck and bandied
Which way please them. ~ John Webster #quote

We are more disturbed by a calamity which threatens us than by one which has befallen us. ~ John Lancaster Spalding #quote

We are more often treacherous through weakness than through calculation. ~ Francois De La Rochefoucauld #quote

We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through. ~ Peter De Vries #quote

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. ~ Oscar Wilde #quote

We are all in the same boat, in a stormy sea, and we owe each other a terrible loyalty. ~ G.K. Chesterton #quote

We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems. ~ John W. Gardner #quote

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. ~ Eduardo Galeano #quote

We are built to make mistakes, coded for error. ~ Lewis Thomas #quote

We are dealing with the best-educated generation in history.  But they've got a brain dressed up with nowhere to go. ~ Timothy Leary #quote

We are described into corners, and then we must describe ourselves out of corners. ~ Salman Rushdie #quote

We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge. ~ John Naisbitt #quote
We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane. ~ Kurt Vonnegut #quote

We all shine on like the moon and the stars and the sun... ~ John Lennon, "Instant Karma" #lyrics

We all want to change the world, but when you talk about destruction don't you know that you can count me out ~ John Lennon #lyrics

We apologize for the inconvenience God's Final Message to His Creation ~ So Long And Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams #quote

We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further ~ Richard Dawkins #quote

We are all born mad. Some remain so. ~ Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot #quote

We adore chaos because we love to produce order. ~ M. C. Escher #quote

We all have a few failures under our belt. It's what makes us ready for the successes. ~ Randy K. Milholland #quote

We all have faults, and mine is being wicked. ~ James Thurber #quote

We all have our everyday hopes and fears
And you'll find no exception in me ~ Todd Rundgren #lyrics

We all have within us a centre of stillness surrounded by silence. ~ Dag Hammarskjold #quote

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can. ~ Will Rogers #quote

Saturday, 25 January 2014

I Have Not Told Half

At sixty, I know little more about wisdom than I did at thirty, but I know a great deal more about folly. ~ Mason Cooley #quote

Children now expect their parents to audition for approval. ~ Mason Cooley #quote

I love you is the inscription on Pandora's box. ~ Mason Cooley #quote

There was a castle called Doubting Castle, the owner whereof was Giant Despair. ~ John Bunyan #quote

I've gradually risen from lower-class background to lower-class foreground. ~ Marvin Cohen #quote

Love is like wine. To sip is fine, but to empty the bottle is a headache. ~ Julio Iglesias #quote

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am. ~ John Burroughs #quote

All leaders share something in common. They feel they are the only ones who can do the job. ~ Julie Nixon Eisenhower #quote

Nobody understands anyone 18, including those who are 18. ~ Jim Bishop #quote

Which death is preferably to every other?  "The unexpected". ~ Julius Caesar #quote

A woman is as young as her knees. ~ Mary Quant #quote

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret. ~ Marlene Dietrich #quote

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. ~ John Burroughs #quote

As a rule, men worry more about what they can't see than about what they can. ~ Julius Caesar #quote

One of the best things about paintings is their silence - which prompts reflection and random reverie. ~ Mark Stevens #quote

A second reason why science cannot replace judgement is the behavior of financial markets. ~ Martin Feldstein #quote

There is no great writing, only great rewriting. ~ Justice Brandeis #quote

For me, insanity is super sanity. The normal is psychotic. Normal means lack of imagination, lack of creativity. ~ Jean Dubuffet #quote

Literature is a state of culture, poetry is a state of grace, before and after culture. ~ Juan Ramon Jimenez #quote

Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying. ~ Martin Luther #quote

Progress everywhere today does seem to come so very heavily disguised as Chaos. ~ Joyce Grenfell #quote

Fate, or some mysterious force, can put the finger on you or me, for no good reason at all. ~ Martin Goldsmith #quote

How strange when an illusion dies. It's as though you've lost a child. ~ Judy Garland #quote

Men are never so good or so bad as their opinions. ~ James Mackintosh #quote

Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr. #quote

There is poetry as soon as we realize that we possess nothing. ~ John Cage #quote

A revolution is an act of violence whereby one class shatters the authority of another. ~ James MacGregor Burns #quote

Facts do not speak. ~ Jules H. Poincare #quote

A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns. ~ Mario Puzo #quote

Geometry is not true, it is advantageous. ~ Jules H. Poincare #quote

The highest purpose is to have no purpose at all. This puts one in accord with nature, in her manner of operation. ~ John Cage #quote

The only paradise is paradise lost. ~ Marcel Proust #quote

It's a free country and I can keep my mouth shut whenever I want. ~ James Van Der Beek #quote

It's good to shut up sometimes. ~ Marcel Marceau #quote

For my next trick I will make everyone understand me. ~ Marc Maron #quote

The politician's promises of yesterday are the taxes of today. ~ Mackenzie King #quote

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. ~ Jim Carrey #quote

He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder. ~ M.C. Escher #quote

I have not told half of what I saw. ~ Marco Polo #quote

There is nothing more enticing, disenchanting, and enslaving than the life at sea. ~ Joseph Conrad #quote

Friday, 24 January 2014

In the Face of Smarting Disillusions

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou #quote

The Eiffel Tower has 1792 steps. #factoid

In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher. ~ Dalai Lama #quote

We all live under the same sky, but we don't see the same horizon. #oneliners

Dreams come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them. ~ John Updike #quote

Eat and drink with your relatives; do business with strangers. ~ Greek #Proverb

Acquaintance: a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. #oneliners

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. #truefactsoflife

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. ~ Oscar Wilde #quotes

WILDFOWL ~ A BUNCH, TRIP or PLUMP of wildfowl; A KNOB of wildfowl (less than 30) #factoid #collectivenouns

You see, evil always contains the seeds of its own destruction. It is ultimately negative, and therefore encompasses its downfall even at its moments of apparent triumph. No matter how grandiose, how well-planned, how apparently foolproof an evil plan, the inherent sinfulness will by definition rebound upon its instigators. No matter how apparently successful it may seem upon the way, at the end it will wreck itself. It will founder upon the rocks of iniquity and sink headfirst to vanish without trace into the seas of oblivion. ~ Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch #quote

Music is a safe kind of high. ~ Jimi Hendrix #quote

The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth. #factoid

AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your kids #bumperstickers

REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Minds, like parachutes, only function when they are open. #oneliners

Even a mosquito doesn't get a slap on the back until he starts to work. #oneliners

A closed mind is a good thing to lose. #oneliners

Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

We don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. #oneliners

Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean. ~ Maya Angelou #quote

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. ~ Thomas Alva Edison #quote
A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who notices you. - Adlai E. Stevenson #quotes

One joy scatters a hundred griefs. ~ Chinese #Proverb #quote

Mistakes are proof that you are trying #bumperstickers

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. #paraprosdokian #ENGgrammar

Who got it, did get it; and who left it, did regret it. ~ Algerian #Proverb

It's always too early to quit. ~ Norman Vincent Peale #quotes

TRUTH, n. An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

My god can beat up your god #bumperstickers

REPOSE, v.i. To cease from troubling. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

In the face of smarting disillusions #literaryExpression

Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

History is a selective interpretation of events designed to justify those currently in power. #oneliners

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. ~ Sir Winston Churchill #quote

I don't believe you can do today's job with yesterday's methods and be in business tomorrow. ~ Nelson Jackson #quote

TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Dating back to the 1600s, thermometers were filled with brandy instead of mercury. #factoid

RUMOUR, n. A favourite weapon of the assassins of character.~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Fat people are harder to kidnap. #oneliners

PLAN, v.t. To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys.  If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky #quote

If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing', we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. ~ #ifmenwrotetherules

The best things in life are never rationed. Friendship, loyalty, love, do not require coupons. ~ George T. Hewitt #quote

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou #quote

The best things in life aren't things. ~ Art Buchwald #quote

Learn from other people's mistakes, life isn't long enough to make them all yourself. #oneliners

Miners Refuse to Work after Death #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. #factoid

Thursday, 23 January 2014

Everything is Okay in the End

Everything is okay in the end, if it's not ok, then it's not the end. ~ Unknown #quote

Everything matters. Time is precious. ~ Jessica Hagedorn #quote

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. ~ Albert Einstein #quote

Everything starts as somebody's daydream. ~ Larry Niven #quote

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. ~ Marcus Aurelius #quote

Everything we see in the world is the creative work of women. ~  Mustafa Kemal Atatürk #quote

Everything you can imagine is real. ~  Pablo Picasso #quote

Everything great in the world comes from neurotics. They alone have founded our religions and composed our masterpieces ~ Marcel Proust

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough. ~ George Bernard Shaw #quote

Everything has been figured out, except how to live. ~ Jean-Paul Sartre #quote

Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again. ~ Andre Gide #quote

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humour itself is not joy but sorrow. ~  Mark Twain #quote

Everything I've ever done was out of fear of being mediocre. ~ Chet Atkins #quote

Everything in life is speaking in spite of it's apparent silence. ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan #quote

Everything is dangerous, my dear fellow. If it wasn't so, life wouldn't be worth living. ~ Oscar Wilde #quote

Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud. ~ Hermann Hesse #quote

Everything else you grow out of, but you never recover from childhood. ~ Beryl Bainbridge #quote