Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Beat Me with the Truth

Without culture, and the relative freedom it implies, society, even when perfect, is but a jungle. ~ Albert Camus #quote

A drop of ink may make a million think. #oneliners

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. ~ Groucho Marx #sarcastic #quote

Lee Harvey Oswald's cadaver tag sold at an auction for $6,600 in 1992. #factoid

PLAGIARISM, n. A literary coincidence compounded of a discreditable priority and an honourable subsequence. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Life is a grindstone; whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, depends upon what you're made of. #oneliners

RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

It doesn't matter if you win or lose until you lose. #oneliners

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers #FunnyNewspaper

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the walls. #sliceoflife

Fools look to tomorrow, wise men use tonight. #oneliners

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity. ~ Irving Kristol #quote

Bilious: unpleasant, peevish #ExquisiteAdjectives

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. ~ Albert Einstein #quote

You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own and you know what you know.  And you are the one who’ll decide where to go. ~ Dr. Seuss #quote

Absolute justice is achieved by the suppression of all contradictions; therefore it destroys freedom. ~ Albert Camus #quote

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination. ~ Nelson Mandela #quotes

You know it's love when you can't fall asleep because reality is better than dreams. #oneliners

When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food. #factoid

CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. #paraprosdokian #ENGgrammar

Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular. #oneliners

Digital Wisdom: Affirm brain on-line before opening mouth. #oneliners

Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct. ~ Thomas Carlyle #quote

Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important. ~ T. S. Elliot #quote

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. #oneliners

No man is rich enough to buy back his past. ~ Oscar Wilde #quote

What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it. ~ Hugh Mulligan #quote

When it does not exist, design it. #oneliners

Wherever an inferiority complex exists, there is a good reason for it. ~ Carl Jung #quote

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. ~ Helen Keller #quote

Women really do rule the world.  They just haven’t figured it out yet.  When they do, and they will, we’re all in big trouble. ~ Dr. Leon #quote

The best way to overcome temptation is to avoid the tempting situation. #oneliners

Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable. ~ Erma Bombeck #quote

PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Slow thinkers keep right #bumperstickers

PLEASE, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Every successful man I have heard of has done the best he could with conditions as he found them, and not waited until the next year for better. ~ Edgar Watson Howe #quote

A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood. ~ Chinese #Proverb

If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought. ~ Dennis Roch #quote

INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. ~ George Burns #quote

Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy they are who already possess it. ~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld #quote

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. #EssenceofPoliticalScience

The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth. #factoid

They say dreams are the windows of the soul -- take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts. ~ Henry Bromel #quote

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. ~ Guy Davenport #quote

I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that. ~ Lauren Bacall #quotes

He who builds to every man's advice will have a crooked house. ~ Danish #Proverb

There are very few men who have the shrewdness to think and feel beyond the commotion of the present moment. Try. ~ Carl von Clausewitz Prussian military theorist and historian #quote

Do they ever shut up on your planet? #bumperstickers

Sometimes it is not enough that we do our best; we must do what is required. ~ Sir Winston Churchill #quote

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful. ~ Mae West #quote

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. ~ Frederick (II) the Great #quote

I tell people I'm too stupid to know what's impossible. I have ridiculously large dreams, and half the time they come true. ~ Debi Thomas #quotes

Beat me with the truth, don't torture me with lies. #oneliners