Friday, 26 February 2016

Talk Only if You can Improve on the Silence

The difference between fiction and reality?  Fiction has to make sense. ~ Tom Clancy #quote

Raining Cats and Dogs: A very loud and noisy rain storm. #ENGidiom

Know the Ropes: To understand the details. #ENGidiom

You're never too old to learn something stupid. #paraprosdokian #ENGgrammar

People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitely wicked. ~ Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch #quote

Hollywood's a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss, and fifty cents for your soul. ~ Marilyn Monroe #quote

A friend asks only for your time, not your money. #fortunecookiesayings

Chow Down: To eat. #ENGidiom

RECOLLECT, v. To recall with additions something not previously known. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Assumed #OtherWordsforSaid

Excuses are the easiest things to manufacture, and the hardest things to sell. #oneliners

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. #observationalHumour

The most commonly used letter in the alphabet is E #factoid

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. ~ Kurt Vonnegut #quote

Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything. ~ Dave Barry #quote

I think the freezer deserves a light as well. #truefactsoflife

A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition. #fortunecookiesayings

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward. ~ Ellen Glasgow #quotes

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand! #JustAJoke

Every fool knows that he cannot reach the stars but it never keeps a wise man from trying. ~ Ronnie B. Woods #quote

A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. ~ Abba Eban #quote

Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest of these is: "It might have been". #oneliners

He who wrestles with us, strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skills. Our antagonist is our helper. ~ Edmund Burke #quote

Death is the consequence of being alive #bumperstickers

You don't win silver; you lose gold. #oneliners

ADMIRATION, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote 
ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the buffoon, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. #factoid

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation. #oneliners

We occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry on as if nothing happened. #oneliners

Talk only if you can improve on the silence #bumperstickers

Flip The Bird: To raise your middle finger at someone. #ENGidiom

Off The Hook: No longer have to deal with a tough situation. #ENGidiom

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. ~ #ifmenwrotetherules

The invidious stigma of selfishness [invidious = rousing ill will] #literaryExpression

SCRIPTURES, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

That place is so crowded, nobody goes there anymore. ~ Yogi Berra #quote

The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it. ~ Laurence Sterne #quote

Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable. ~ Samuel Johnson #quote

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day. ~ Sally Koch #quote

Some succeed because they are destined to, but most succeed because they are determined to. #oneliners

You don't get old, you just become a classic. #oneliners

A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life. ~ Charles Darwin #quotes

Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it #bumperstickers

A conservative is a worshipper of dead radicals. #oneliners

Here's what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey. ~ Kurt Vonnegut #quote

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. #ThingsYouWishYouCouldSay

Never fear shadows; they simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby. #oneliners

HURRY, n. The dispatch of bunglers. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. #oneliners

South American gauchos were known to put raw steak under their saddles before starting a day's riding, in order to tenderize the meat. #factoid

It’s hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head. ~ Sally Kempton #quote

I focus my energy on my true intentions.  I will not be distracted by noise, chatter, or setbacks.  Patience, commitment, grace, and purpose will guide me. ~ Louise Hay #quote

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there! ~ Will Rogers #quote

The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart. ~ Maya Angelou #quote

Fools learn from experience. Wise men learn from the experience of others ~ Otto von Bismark #quote

To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. ~ Voltaire #quote

Sitting Shotgun: Riding in the front passenger seat of a car. #ENGidiom

Insolent: impudent, contemptuous #ExquisiteAdjectives

"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense. #IwantToGoBackInTime

We're even wrong about which mistakes we're making. ~ Carl Winfeld #quote

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me. ~ Bobcat Goldthwait #quote

Saturday, 20 February 2016

Children and Lunatics Cut the Gordian Knot

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. ~ C. A. R. Hoare #quote

If I am anything, which I highly doubt, I have made myself so by hard work. ~ Sir Isaac Newton #quote

As long as the Earth can make a spring every year, I can. As long as the Earth can flower and produce nurturing fruit, I can, because I'm the Earth. I won't give up until the Earth gives up. ~ Alice Walker #quote

When we hang the capitalists they will sell us the rope we use. ~ Josef Stalin #quote

Where the fear is, happiness is not. ~ Seneca the Elder #Quote

Where is the justice of political power if it executes the murderer and jails the plunderer, and then itself marches upon neighbouring lands, killing thousands and pillaging the very hills? ~ Kahlil Gibran #quote, "The Voice of the Poet"

We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours. ~ Dag Hammarskjold #quote

Although none of the rules for becoming more alive is valid, it is healthy to keep on formulating them. ~ Susan Sontag #Quote

The ideal American type is perfectly expressed by the Protestant, individualist, anti-conformist, and this is the type that is in the process of disappearing. In reality there are few left. ~ Orson Welles #quote

One penny doubled everyday becomes over 5 million dollars in just 30 days. #factoid

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. ~ Kitty O'Neill Collins #quotes

Stolen Painting Found by Tree #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. #ThingsYouWishYouCouldSay

She swept away all opposing opinion with the swift rush of her enthusiasm #literaryExpression

If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work. ~ Kahlil Gibran #quote

Children and lunatics cut the Gordian knot which the poet spends his life patiently trying to untie. ~ Jean Cocteau #poetryquotes

The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on forecasters. #oneliners

Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. #paraprosdokian #ENGgrammar

Most would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. #oneliners

It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret ~ Jackie Joyner-Kersee #quote

Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference. - Aristotle #quotes

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? ~ #OneLiner

Jet lag was once called boat lag, back before jets existed. #factoid

Fools rush in - and get all the best seats. #oneliners

Only boring people get bored. ~ Robin Beyer #quote

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. ~ Wernher Von Braun #quote

That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzche #quote

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might just be the world. ~  Author Unknown #quote

One day you will look back and you'll see where you were held up by His love. ~ U, Mysterious Ways #Lyrics

Then as it was, then again it will be. Though the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea. ~ Led Zeppelin,  Years Gone #Lyrics

Woman's first duty in life is to her dressmaker. What the second duty is no one has yet discovered. ~ Oscar Wilde #quote

Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth - look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment. ~ Soren Kierkegaard #quote

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. ~ Henrik Ibsen #quote

The brotherhood of man is not a mere poet's dream: it is a most depressing and humiliating reality. ~ Oscar Wilde #quote

Pay good teachers good money #bumperstickers

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower? ~ Warren Hutcherson #quote

Henry VII was the only British King to be crowned on the field of battle. #factoid

Fools' Gold: Iron pyrites, a worthless rock that resembles real gold. #ENGidiom

Faustus, who embraced evil and shunned righteousness, became the foremost symbol of the misuse of free will, that sublime gift from God with its inherent opportunity to choose virtue and reject iniquity. What shall a man gain if he has the whole world and lose his soul,” (Matt. 16: v. 26) - but for a notorious name, the ethereal shadow of a career, and a brief life of fleeting pleasure with no true peace? This was the blackest and most captivating tragedy of all, few could have remained indifferent to the growing intrigue of this individual who apparently shook hands with the devil and freely chose to descend to the molten, sulphuric chasm of Hell for all eternity for so little in exchange. It is a drama that continues to fascinate today as powerfully as when Faustus first disseminated his infamous card in the Heidelberg locale to the scandal of his generation. In fine, a life of good or evil, the hope of Heaven or the despair of Hell, Faustus stands as a reminder that the choice between these two absolutes also falls to us. ~ E.A. Bucchianeri, Faust: My Soul Be Damned for the World: Volume I #quote

If raindrops were kisses, I would send you a storm. ~ Natasha Isabelle #quote

But then they danced down the street like dingledodies, and shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centre light pop and everybody goes Awww!. ~ Jack Kerouac #quote, On The Road, 1957

The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude. ~ Oprah Winfrey #quote

He who knows himself is wise. ~ Lao Tse 604-531 BC

Canada is an Indian word meaning 'Big Village'. #factoid

It is impossible to overestimate the immense need that humans have to be listened to, understood, and taken seriously. #oneliners

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it  will. #lifelaws

Sickness is felt, but health not at all. ~ Thomas Fuller #quote

If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a movable feast. ~ Ernest Hemingway #quote

The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche #quote

Saturday, 13 February 2016

I Want to Stay as Close to the Edge as I Can

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out #bumperstickers

Suburbia is where the bulldozers have knocked down all the trees and the planners rename the roads after them. ~ Anon, US TV #quote

I don't do requests #bumperstickers

 Adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it. #oneliners

People would worry less about what others think of them if they only realised how seldom they do. #oneliners

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. ~ Albert Einstein #quote

Go to your room and think about what you did! #Momism

I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center. ~ Kurt Vonnegut #humanNature
Political Correctness: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently - aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender. #EssenceofPoliticalScience

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. #oneliners

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. ~ Abraham Lincoln #quote

TRUCE, n. Friendship. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out #bumperstickers

DEFAME, v.t. To lie about another. To tell the truth about another. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen #quotes

CONTEMPT, n. The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant. ~ Martin Luther King Jr. #quote

Grunted #OtherWordsforSaid

Don't limit your challenges - challenge your limits. #oneliners

Wit is educated insolence. ~ Aristotles #quote

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. ~ Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) #quote

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me. ~ Oscar Wilde #humanNature

Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. #oneliners

Often, the only way to comfort the suffering is to understand that you can't understand and just be there. #oneliners

Life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless. ~ Rowan Atkinson #quote

PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

The best way to predict the future is to invent it. ~ Alan Kay #quotes

Wisdom whispers - foolishness shouts. #oneliners

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. #oneliners

Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time. - Arnold H. Glasow #quotes

Murmured #OtherWordsforSaid
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.  ~ Dave Barry #quote

Don't be afraid of the dark, be afraid of what it hides. #oneliners

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box. ~ Italian #Proverb

Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything #oneliner

You have to look quite hard but the horse above is on this tiny island. 

The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything. ~ Theodore Roosevelt #quote

Nessie, the Loch Ness monster is protected by the 1912 Protection of Animals Acts of Scotland. With good reason - Nessie is worth $40 million annually to Scottish tourism. #factoid

Clones are people 2 #bumperstickers

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. ~ Benjamin Franklin #quote