Thursday, 26 May 2016

Water Under the Bridge

Go On, I will See You At The Next Light #bumperstickers

No man ever injured his eyesight by looking on the bright side of things. #oneliners

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. ~ Mark Twain #quote
Optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place. #oneliners

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

We have all heard that there are two sides to every story, but after listening to many husband and wife arguments I have come to realize there are three sides to every story, her side, his side, and the truth. #oneliners

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. ~ Albert Einstein #quote

Rules + Regulations - Relationships = Resentment + Rebellion. #oneliners

Mad:  angry, frustrated, furious, incensed, enraged #alternativesToOverusedWords

A modest little person, with much to be modest about. ~ Winston Churchill #sarcastic #quote

I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it. ~ Maya Angelou #quote

[I]t was with a good end in mind – that of acquiring the knowledge of good and evil – that Eve allowed herself to be carried away and eat the forbidden fruit. But Adam was not moved by this desire for knowledge, but simply by greed: he ate it because he heard Eve say it tasted good. ~ Moderata #quote

Money is an excellent servant, but a horrible master. #oneliners

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. ~ Fred Allen (1894-1956) #quote

During a 24-hour period, the average human will breathe 23,040 times. #factoid
Rhadamanthine: harshly strict #ExquisiteAdjectives

A Fool And His Money Are Easily Parted:  It's easy for a foolish person to lose his/her money. #ENGidiom

Human relations is the science of dealing with people in such a way that our egos and their egos remain intact. ~  Les Giblin #quote

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. #JustaJoke

There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately. ~ Dave Barry #quote

Behaviour is a mirror in which everyone shows his image. ~ Goethe #quote

Water Under The Bridge: Anything from the past that isn't significant or important anymore. #ENGidiom

The world's oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old. #factoid

Skier; one who pays an arm and a leg for the opportunity to break them. #oneliners

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. #sliceoflife

If you want to know who your friends are, get yourself a jail sentence. ~ Charles Bukowski #quote

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. ~ #OneLiner

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. #oneliners

If we'd confess our sins to one another we'd all laugh at the lack of originality. #oneliners

Like: such as, similar to, similarly #alternativesToOverusedWords
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. ~ W. C. Fields #quotes

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. ~ #ifmenwrotetherules

From Rags To Riches: To go from being very poor to being very wealthy. #ENGidiom
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself. #oneliners

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

Cooperate with the Family #MeerkatMotto

It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together. #ifmenwrotetherules

Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving. #sarcasticsayings

PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Car airbags kill 1 person for every 22 lives that they save. #factoid

RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. ~ Langston Hughes #quote

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Let us Prepare to Grapple with the Ineffable

May 25th Towel Day 
DON'T PANIC and always know where your towel is. 
The answer today, to every question, is in fact 42. #TowelDay

Via: I My Comic  

"A towel…is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.*

*More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."

"Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)"

Via:  Kartoen

Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. ~ Douglas Adams #quote

In memory of Douglas Adams, and remember: 'We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.'

Friday, 20 May 2016

Every Joke is a Tiny Revolution

Every time I've built character, I've regretted it. ~ Bill Watterson #quote

Every time I've done something that doesn't feel right, it's ended up not being right. ~ Mario Cuomo, former governor of New York #quote

Every truth has two sides; it is well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either. ~ Aesop #quote

Every war when it comes, or before it comes, is represented not as a war but as an act of self~defense against a homicidal maniac. ~ George Orwell #quote

Every woman is supposed to have the same set of motives, or else to be a monster. ~ George Eliot #quotes

Every word or concept, clear as it may seem to be, has only a limited range of applicability. ~ Werner Heisenberg #quote

Every word out of her mouth was challenged / Mocked or countered, puffed, dismissed, simply lost or thrown away ~ Sigred Philipsen #quote

Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around. ~ Vanilla Sky #linesfrommovies

Every person is a fool in somebody's opinion. ~ Spanish #Proverb.

Every revolutionary ends up either by becoming an oppressor or a heretic. ~ Albert Camus #quote

Every right implies a responsibility; Every opportunity, an obligation, Every possession, a duty. ~ John D. Rockefeller #quote

Every single soul is a poem. ~ Michael Franti #poetryquotes

Every society honours its live conformists, and its dead troublemakers. ~ Mignon McLaughlin #quote

Every tear has a smile behind it. #Proverb from Iran

Every thing must have a beginning ... and that beginning must be linked to something that went before. ~ Mary Shelley, Frankenstein #quote

Every time I play, in my own mind I`m the favourite. ~ Tiger Woods #quote

Every man dies, not every man truly lives ~ Walt Whitman #quote

Every man has a sane spot somewhere. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson #quote

Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do. ~ Voltaire #quote

Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive a mad notion ~ R. Davies #quote

Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying. ~ Martin Luther #quote

Every man's got to figure to get beat sometime. ~ Joe Louis #quote

Every marriage is happy. Its the living together afterward that's the challenge. ~ Ann Landers  #quote

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. ~ Henry Louis Mencken

Every crowd has a silver lining. ~ P.T. Barnum #quote

Every fault is laid at the door of the hyena, but it does not steal a bale of cloth. #Proverb from Niger

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. ~ Carl Jung #quote

Every government has as much of a duty to avoid war as a ship's captain has to avoid a shipwreck. ~ Guy de Maupassant #quote

Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority. ~ Thomas H. Huxley #quote

Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference. ~Jane Goodall #quote
Every joke is a tiny revolution. ~ George Orwell #quote

Every man can transform the world from one of monotony and drabness to one of excitement and adventure. ~ Irving Wallace #quote

Every anarchist is a baffled dictator. ~ Benito Mussolini #quote

Every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief / All kill their inspiration and sing about their grief ~ Bono #quote
Every betrayal contains a perfect moment, a coin stamped heads or tails with salvation on the other side. ~ Barbara Kingsolver #quote

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, grow, grow. ~ The Talmud #quote

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. ~ Pablo Picasso #quote 

Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction. ~ Picasso #quote

Saturday, 14 May 2016

Never Argue with a Fool

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~ Herb Albright #quote

The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one. ~ John C. Maxwell #quote

Nothing determines who we will become so much as those things we choose to ignore. ~ Sandar McNab #quote

Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers. ~ Socrates, 469 BCE ~ 399 BCE #quote

Imagination is everything - it is the preview of life's coming attractions ~ Albert Einstein #quote

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. ~ Jay Leno #quote

In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. ~ John Churton Collins #quote

Some people make things happen, some watch while things happen, and some wonder 'What happened?' ~ Unknown #quote

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. ~ Isaac Asimov #quote

Be friendly.  It will help make you happy.  #HowToBePerfect by Ron Padgett

I wandered everywhere, through cities and countries wide. And everywhere I went, the world was on my side. ~ Roman Payne #quote

Always listen to experts. They’ll tell you what can’t be done and why. Then do it. ~ Robert Heinlein #quote

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin #quote

We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. ~ Marcel Proust #quote

We all have tremendous potential, and we all are blessed with gifts. Yet, the one thing that holds all of us back is some degree of self-doubt. It is not so much the lack of technical information that holds us back, but more the lack of self-confidence. ~ Robert T. Kiyosaki #quote

Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune. ~ Noam Chomsky #quote

The appearance of things changes according to the emotions; and thus we see magic and beauty in them, while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves. ~ Kahlil Gibran #quote

Never argue with a fool. Listeners can't tell which is which. ~ Unknown #quote

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. #cleverquotes.

Every damn fool thing you do in this life, you pay for. ~ Edith Piaf #quote

When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.~ Ernest Hemingway #quote

Penguin, a compound of two Welsh words, pen and gwyn, which mean ''head" and ''white" - even though penguins have black heads. It is likely that 'penguin' was at one time the name of similar, now extinct bird which had a white patch near its bill. ~ #ENGwordorigins

We find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve. ~ Maxwell Maltz #quote

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a few car payments. ~ Unknown #quote

A diplomat is a man who says you have an open mind, instead of telling you that you have a hole in the head. ~ Unknown #quote

Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart. ~ Pablo Casals #quote

The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing. ~ Unknown #quote

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.~ Western Union memo, 1877 #quote

A government which requires of the people the contribution of the bulk of their substance and rewards cannot be classed as a free government... ~ Calvin Coolidge #quote

They say hard work never hurt anybody, but I figure why take the chance. ~ Ronald Reagan #quote

Be life long or short, its completeness depends on what it was lived for.~ David Starr Jordan #quote

After all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done. ~ Unknown #quote

Life's truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way. ~ Unknown #quote

It has often been said that power corrupts. But it is perhaps equally important to realize that weakness, too, corrupts. Power corrupts the few, while weakness corrupts the many. Hatred, malice, rudeness, intolerance, and suspicion are the faults of weakness. The resentment of the weak does not spring from any injustice done to them but from their sense of inadequacy and impotence. We cannot win the weak by sharing our wealth with them. They feel our generosity as oppression. ~ Eric Hoffer #quote