Saturday, 7 May 2016

Flatters the Fool

It is easy to be flexible when one is spineless! #oneliners

It is better to be hated for what you are, then to be loved for what you're not! #oneliners

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. #factoid

Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and keep away from children. #oneliners
Was learning cursive really necessary? #observationalHumour

When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout #bumperstickers

Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one. ~ Japanese #Proverb

Choose your love, love your choice. #oneliners

RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

If there was any justice in this world oil company executive bathrooms would smell like the ones in their gas stations. ~ Johnny Carson #quote

BEAUTY, n.  The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him. #oneliners

If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. ~ Frank Wilczek #quote

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. #oneliner

The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~ Lucille Ball #quote

Terror filled the more remote chambers of his brain with riot #literaryExpression

Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength. ~ Hasidic #Proverb

Between A Rock And A Hard Place: Stuck between two very bad options. #ENGidiom

Smack dab ~ Exactly  #CanadianslangSuccess

Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you. #oneliners

Deciding not to choose is still making a choice. #oneliners

One time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it is holding a parking ticket. #oneliners

I can calculate trajectories. I can analyze chemical compositions so why can't I figure out where the other sock is after using the dryer? ~ Karl Reinhard, pyrotechnician #quote

The pagans were incensed at the rashness of a recent and obscure sect, which presumed to accuse their countrymen of error, and to devote their ancestors to eternal misery. ~ Gibbon, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire #quote

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead. ~ Anamaniacs #quote

Everywhere children are schooled to become masters at answering questions and to remain novices at asking them. ~ Dillon #quote

Almonds are a member of the peach family. #factoid

I am the master of my unspoken words and a slave to those that should have remained unspoken. ~ Anon #quote

He who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. #oneliners

People seem to get nostalgic about a lot of things they weren't so crazy about the first time around. #oneliners

Don't make someone a priority, who only makes you an option. #oneliners

Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers? Men don't like flowers. I've been wearing a great new scent. It's called New Car Interior. ~ Rita Rudner #quote

It’s okay to be fat.  So you’re fat.  Just be fat and shut up about it. ~ Roseanne #quote

Space is a dangerous place if it's between your ears! #oneliners

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle. #IwantToGoBackInTime

Limpid: simple, transparent, serene #ExquisiteAdjectives

Stuffed to the gills ~ You're full from eating a lot #Canadianslang

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. #oneliners

Surely it's no coincidence that the word "listen" is an anagram of the word "silent". #oneliners

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often as a sign of their great respect they don't even invite me. ~ Dave Barry #quote

No one would remember the good Samaritan if he had only good intentions. He had money as well. ~ Margaret Thatcher #quote
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. ~ A. J. Liebling #quote

A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool. ~ Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton #quotes

If someone is too tired to give you a smile leave one of your own because no one needs a smile as much as those who have none to give. #oneliners

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. ~ Flannery O'Connor  #quote

Sometimes it costs more to do nothing than to do something. #oneliners

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score? ~ #BumperSticker

I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid. #ThingsYouWishYouCouldSay

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. ~ Aesop #quote

I Feel Like I’m Diagonally Parked In A Parallel Universe #bumperstickers

Well done is better than well said. ~ Benjamin Franklin #quote