Wednesday, 26 October 2016

I Feel Like I'm Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Time is what keeps things from happening all at once #bumperstickers

Nothing seems to bring on an emergency as quickly as putting money aside in case of one. #LifeIsLikeThat

DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

A snail can sleep for three years. #factoid

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. #justajoke

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. ~ Andrew Carnegie #quotes

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. ~ Robert Frost #quote

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. ~ French #Proverb

The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes #factoids #ImNotAverage

The best way to keep your kids out of hot water is to put some dishes in it. #oneliners

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant #sarcastic #quote

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. ~ Soren Aabye Kierkegaard #quote
Faith has to do with things that are not seen and hope with things that are not at hand. ~ Thomas Aquinas #quotes

Pipe Down: To shut-up or be quiet. #ENGidiom

Nothing is work unless you'd rather be doing something else. ~ George Halas #quotes

Everything that can be counted doesn't necessarily count; everything that counts can't necessarily be counted. ~ Einstein #quote

There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. ~  Dan Greenberg #quotes #cats

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. ~ Xenocrates  #quote

Evanescent shades of feeling [evanescent = vanishing like vapor] #literaryExpression

Back Seat Driver: People who criticize from the sidelines, much like someone giving unwanted advice from the back seat of a vehicle to the driver. #ENGidiom

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible. ~ Albert Einstein #quote

You can bomb the world into pieces; you can't bomb the world into peace. #oneliners.

Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy. ~ Robert A. Heinlein #quote

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. ~ Jonathan Kozel #quote

Serpentine: snake-like, winding, tempting or wily #ExquisiteAdjectives

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! ~ Homer Simpson #quote

REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Those who do not feel pain seldom think that it is felt. ~ Dr. Samuel Johnson #quote

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. ~ Mark Twain #quote

We can be knowledgeable with other men's knowledge, but we cannot be wise with other men's wisdom. ~ Michel de Montaigne #quote

He who feels that he is too small to make a difference has never been bitten by a mosquito. #oneliners
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW #bumperstickers

Hoffer's law: When people are free to do what they want they usually imitate one another. #oneliners

You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals. ~  George Mikes from How to be decadent #quotes #cats

You don't marry someone you can live with; you marry the person with whom you cannot live without. #oneliners

Luminous: clear, shining #ExquisiteAdjectives

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. ~ Harold S. Hulbert #quote

Your child has started growing up when he stops asking you where he came from and starts refusing to tell you where he's going. #oneliners

Thursday, 20 October 2016

The Round Pegs in the Square Holes

It is amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away. ~ Michael Arlen #quote

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbours. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

You either have to be first, best, or different. ~ Loretta Lynn #quote

We confess to little faults only to persuade ourselves that we have no great ones. ~ La Rochefoucauld #quote

Begin to be now what you will be hereafter. ~ William James #quotes

Stowaway cat slips TSA, flies in suitcase #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable. ~ Maya Angelou #quote

I don't care who started it, YOU stop it! #Momism

If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. #ifmenwrotetherules

The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention. ~ Author Unknown #quote

Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are. ~ Marianne Williamson #quote

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things. ~ Epictetus #quote

Ads are the cave art of the twentieth century. ~ Marshall McLuhan #quotes

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. ~ Oscar Wilde #quotes

Certain frogs can be frozen solid then thawed, and continue living. #factoid

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. #sarcasticsayings

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. ~ #OneLiner

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ~ Groucho Marx #sarcastic #quote

Pushing up daisies ~ Euphemism for dying or death  #ENGidioms

You're in middle age when you realize you have more on your mind and less on your head. #oneliners

Rats can hear in the range of 1,000 to 50,000 Hz. #factoid
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. ~ Dale Carnegie #quote

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. ~ Oscar Wilde #quotes

Elvis has left the building: The show has come to an end. It's all over. #ENGidiom

I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humour in it. ~ Frank Howard Clark #quote

The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days #factoid

Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served first class: $40,000. #factoid

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail ~ Abraham Maslow #humanNature

Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it. #dogpetpeeves

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~ Abraham Lincoln #quote

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been but also where you're going. #oneliners

Start From Scratch: To do it all over again from the beginning. #ENGidiom

Turn A Blind Eye: Refuse to acknowledge something you know is real or legit. #ENGidiom

And I must believe that man has the power to know the right, to choose between good and evil and know that his choice has made a difference... ~ Marion Zimmer Bradley, The Mists of Avalon #quote

Real World Communism: You share two cows with your neighbours. You and your neighbours bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation. #EssenceofPoliticalScience

Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles. #IwantToGoBackInTime

Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. ~ Apple Inc. #quote

Action is the real measure of intelligence. ~ Napoleon Hill #quotes

You have three choices in any situation; the sooner you choose, the less stress you feel: change, accept or leave. #oneliners

He, who doesn't hope to win has already lost. ~ Simon Bolivar #quote

Saturday, 15 October 2016

Between the Three of Them, Bossy, Selfish & Princess, They Seem to have Weird Covered (and again... What's with the Crow?)

Bossy: When I'm doing housework, or am alone, or am lonely - I listen to music (and see the world as presented by mostly young people, longing for something/anything better).

Selfish: When I'm idle or alone or lonely - I watch the news (and see the world as presented by people with money, good looks, intelligence or luck, pushing their hidden insular agenda).

Princess: When I am alone - I watch the door (and see the world in a hope that soon my whole life will return).


Friday, 14 October 2016

Everyone Dies but not Everyone Lives

The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn't matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark. ~ Barbara Hall #quote

Tut! tut! cried Sherlock Holmes. "You must act, man, or you are lost. Nothing but energy can save you. This is no time for despair." ~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle #quote

Each success only buys an admission ticket to a more difficult problem. ~ Henry Kissinger #quote

Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it. ~ Unknown #quote

Don't be depressed about growing older.  It will make you feel even older.  Which is depressing. #HowToBePerfect by Ron Padgett

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives. ~ A. Sachs #quote

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way you cope with it is what makes the difference. ~ Virginia Satir #quote

You live longer once you realize that any time spent being unhappy is wasted. ~ Ruth E. Renkel #quote

Worry is a misuse of imagination. ~ Dan Zadra #quote

I was never aware of any other option but to question everything. ~ Noam Chomsky #quote

There are two things in particular that it [the computer industry] failed to foresee: one was the coming of the Internet(...); the other was the fact that the century would end. ~ Douglas Adams #quote

He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch. ~ Unknown #quote

Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life. ~ Donald Miller #quote

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. ~ Unknown #quote

The greatest weariness comes from work not done. ~ Eric Hoffer #quote

The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. ~ Ronald Reagan #quote

Paint what you like and die happy ~ Henry Miller #quote

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it. #JustaJoke

Good literature is about Love and War.  Trash fiction is about Sex and Violence. ~ Author Unknown #quote

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. #ModernObservations

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. #cleverquotes

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. ~ C.G. Jung #quote

What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult to each other? ~ George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)  #quote

The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience. ~ Unknown #quote

I had rather take my chance that some traitors will escape detection than spread abroad a spirit of general suspicion and distrust, which accepts rumour and gossip in place of undismayed and unintimidated inquiry. ~ Learned Hand, appellate judge  #quote

Between the wish and the thing life lies waiting. ~ Unknown #quote 

That's the key to comedy: allowing yourself to look stupid. ~ Megan Mullally in Ladies' Home Journal #quote

Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it. ~ Ray Bradbury #quote

A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one's life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself. ~ Louis L'Amour #quote
What's another word for Thesaurus? ~ Steven Wright #quote

If I wished to punish my enemy, I should make him hate somebody. ~  Hannah More #quote

The greatest dreams are always unrealistic. ~ Will Smith in Parade #quote

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem. ~ Douglas Adams #quote

DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors. ~ #PearlsOfWisdom

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. ~ Douglas Adams #quote