Thursday, 13 October 2016

I Am Sorry I Offended You

I am sorry I offended you - I should have lied. #oneliners

Expectations are for the unsure. ~ Peter Walstrom #quote

Silence is argument carried out by other means. ~ Ernesto Che Guevara #quote

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none. #oneliners

APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote 

In the giving - is the getting. ~  David Matoc #quote

Dogs have masters… Cats have staff. #oneliners

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. #paraprosdokian #ENGgrammar

No horse goes as fast as the money you bet on him. #oneliners

Poetry is nearer to vital truth than history. ~ Plato #poetryquotes

Good Samaritan: Someone who helps others when they are in need, with no discussion for compensation, and no thought of a reward. #ENGidiom

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. ~ Judy Garland #quotes

Encourage me, and I will not forget you. #oneliners

Close but no Cigar: To be very near and almost accomplish a goal, but fall short. #ENGidiom

Lawyer (n): Larval stage of Politician. #oneliners

The flashing warning light on the cylindrical Capitol Records tower spells out HOLLYWOOD in Morse code. #factoid

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. ~ George Burns #quote

To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid #bumperstickers
Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic. ~ Rosalind Russell #quotes

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise. #oneliners

PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Wait by the river long enough and the body of your enemy will float by you. ~ Sun Tsu #quote

We have stopped being fishers of men and we are now the keepers of the aquarium. #oneliners

Any  tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. #lifelaws

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay cheques.  #OneLiner

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. ~ Martin Fraquhar Tupper #quote

No sense being pessimistic… It wouldn't work anyway. #oneliners

Newfie of Newf - Resident of Newfoundland #CanadianSlang

Hope is the ability to hear the music of the future. #oneliners

Knowing what to say is not always necessary; just the presence of a caring friend can make a world of difference. ~ Sheri Curry #quote

Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. #oneliners

Communication by empathy is a talent that few possess. #oneliners

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking. ~ Katherine Cebrian #quote

Originality is the art of concealing your source. ~ Franklin P. Jones #quote

Eighty percent of success is showing up. ~ Woody Allen #quote

All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field. ~ Albert Einstein #humanNature
The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful. ~ Kurt Vonnegut #quote

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. ~ Oscar Wilde #quote

If I did not laugh. I should die. ~ Abraham Lincoln #quote

PREVARICATOR, n. A liar in the caterpillar estate. ~ Ambrose Bierce,
The Devil's Dictionary #quote

I Used To Be Indecisive. Now I’m Not Sure #bumperstickers

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. ~ Dalai Lama #quote

Libel is one thing, but a damaging lie made publicly known for political effect is a roorback. #littleUsedENGwords

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. #observationalHumour

Nearly every glamorous, wealthy, successful career woman you might envy now started out as some kind of schlep. ~ Helen Gurley Brown #quote

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. ~  Leo Dworken #quotes #cats

You can smell a skunk 1.6km (1 mile) away #factoids

NJ judge to rule on nude beach #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

A dog who attends a flea circus most likely will steal the whole show. #oneliners

Twenty three skidoo: To be turned away. #ENGidiom

The most commonly forgotten item for travellers is their toothbrush #factoid
OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

BATS ~ A colony of bats; A cloud of bats. #factoid #collectivenouns

BACKBITE, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

What we fight against defines us as clearly as all we embrace. #oneliners

Take naps and always stretch before rising. #aDogsAdvice

PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Contemptuously indifferent to the tyranny of public opinion #literaryExpression

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. #oneliners