Thursday, 29 August 2013

Better to Light a Candle

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. #oneliners

COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Success is a ladder that can not be climbed with your hands in your pockets. #oneliners

Go ask your father. #Momism

We have wasted History like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men's crapper of the local bar. ~ Charles Bukowski #quote

You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down. ~ Mary Pickford #quote

Power works best in the hands of those who don't want it. #oneliners

Dreams are extremely important. You can't do it unless you imagine it. ~ George Lucas #quote

No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe, I could find out countries in her. ~ from The Comedy of Errors. ~ #ShakespeareInsults

The easiest way to grow up is to surround yourself with people who are smarter than you. #oneliners

Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle" #bumperstickers"

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. ~ #OneLiner

Politics: Poly (many) + ticks (bloodsucking parasites)

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. #factoid

Soviet virgin lands short of goal again #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them. ~ Bruce Lee #quote

INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Volcanic upheavings of imprisoned passions #literaryExpression

Endeavoring to smile away his chagrin #literaryExpression

Remember half the people you know are below average. #justajoke

When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either. ~ Leo Burnett #quote

TEAM: Together Everyone Achieves More. #oneliners

He was dimly mistrustful of it #literaryExpression

Flattery is telling others exactly what they think of themselves. #oneliners

Better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness. #oneliners

You blink over 20,000,000 times a year. #factoid

Put that down! You don't know where it's been! #Momism