Thursday, 19 January 2017

My Mind Contains Many Good Ideas

My mind contains many good ideas, but it is not always easy to squeeze one out. #oneliners

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. #oneliners

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means. ~ Clarence Darrow, Scopes trial, 1925

It is a curious thing in human experience, but to live through a period of stress and sorrow with another person creates a bond which nothing seems able to break. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt #quote

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change #bumperstickers

The collecting of Beer mats is called Tegestology. #factoid

Queen Elizabeth I passed a law which forced everyone except for the rich to wear a flat cap on Sundays. #factoid

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Charm is getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. ~ Albert Camus #quote

There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way. ~ Christopher Morley #quote

PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. ~ Soren Kierkegaard #quote

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat. ~  Mark Twain Notebook, 1894 #quotes #cats

To do a dull thing with style - now that's what I call art. ~ Charles Bukowski #quote

You must do the thing you think you cannot do. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt #quote

If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average. ~ M.H. Alderson #quote

Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better #FunnyNewspaperHeadlines

#Proverbs are short sentences drawn from long experience. #oneliners

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. ~ Ambrose Bierce #quote

If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber. ~ Albert Einstein #quote

It is better to understand little than to misunderstand a lot. ~ Anatole France #quote

Don't work for recognition, but do work worthy of recognition. #oneliners

Science cuts two ways, of course; its products can be used for both good and evil. But there's no turning back from science. ~ Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space #quote

Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They do not mean to do harm. They are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves. ~ T.S. Eliot, poet #quote

Beautiful faces are those that wear whole-souled honesty printed there. ~ Ellen Palmer Allerton #quote

Science never solves a problem without creating ten more. ~ George Bernard Shaw #quote

Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward. ~ Victor Kiam #quotes

Riches are not from abundance of worldly goods, but from a contented mind. ~ Mohammed #quote

Live your life from your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people's souls. ~ Melody Beattie #quote

There is great need for a sarcasm font. #truefactsoflife

It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people. ~ Logan Pearsall Smith #quote

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. ~ William James #quotes

Fate decides who walks into your life, you decide who you let stay, who you let walk away, and who you refuse to let walk out. #oneliners

Need some time to be alone, try washing the dishes! #LifesLikeThat

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. ~ #ifmenwrotetherules

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home -- even when you wish they were. #oneliners

No matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. #oneliners

Meretricious: whorish, superficially appealing, pretentious #ExquisiteAdjectives

TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate. ~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary #quote

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.  ~ Mark Twain #quote

Our eyes are always the same size from birth. #factoid

Some persons don't know the difference between thinking for yourself, and thinking of yourself. #oneliners

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~ Dalai Lama #quote

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain. ~ Dave Barry #quote

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep. #oneliners

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. ~ Albert Einstein #quote

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. #factoid

An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out? ~ Rene Descartes #quote